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I’ve talked about this before – I’ve talked about it a lot! – and today I received a great example I’d like to share with you.

I don’t know if this was written by the sales person or the client, and I’ve changed the name of the business to protect all.  Here’s the script for a :30 radio commercial:

Ye Olde Lawn and Garden Shoppe, home of The Amish Gift Shop, is now having a Pre-Season sale on all Cub Cadet Snow-Blowers!  See our large selection and save money early! Need more Storage? Moyher Lawn and Garden always has This County’s largest Selection of Amish-Made Barns and Storage sheds…..available in various styles and sizes!!  And see our huge selection of Amish-Made Lawn Furniture...now at Fall Sale Prices!  Ye Olde Lawn and Garden Shoppe, on route One in Smithville, Four miles South of Route Two, or visit them at “Ye Olde Garden Shoppe dot net.”

If you’ve been reading my radio advertising tips and techniques for any length of time, I’m sure you picked out several things that can be worked on to make this commercial much better.  It does my heart good to know you’re picking out these things!

Focus your message.

If you overwhelm your customer, they will tune you out.

Today, I want to focus on “focus”!

What would it sound like, if your spouse or significant other invited you on a date, and it sounded like this:  “Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner?  My cousin posted a great picture on Facebook!  Did you catch the sunset last night?  My neighbor was mowing his lawn this morning.”

Sensory Overload!

At first, you were probably very interested in going out to dinner with this person (depending on the depth of the relationship!) and what the heck happened with the rest of the invitation?  Your first question has got to be if this person is has discovered decaf.  Beyond that, there’s no way you’re going to go out – that was the original question wasn’t it?

After the initial question you probably shut down – then your only concern was how to get away from this person!  If someone is confused, they do nothing.  If your ads confuse your audience, they don’t buy.

Let’s look at our commercial again – I count four topics:

  1. Amish Crafts and Gift Shop
  2. Snow Blowers on sale
  3. Storage Sheds
  4. Lawn Furniture

Anyone interested in Amish crafts is listening!  Then they get a snow blower, storage shed and lawn furniture thrown at them.  Their head is spinning just like you were when asked on a date/Facebook post/sunset/mowing update.

I’m pretty sure this ad is supposed to be for the snow blower sale, but it is off track before it even gets to the snow blowers!

Your advertising is much like asking someone on a date, isn’t it?  You are courting your customer because you want to spend time with them, hang out with them, share common experiences that you can talk about for years to come.

Is “buy this, buy this, buy this and buy this” wooing anyone?  Ask your customer out to dinner, then talk about what a great time you’ll have throughout the evening.  Save the other topics for other ads.

If you dedicate each commercial to one specific message, you will get through to your customers and you will see an increase in sales.

Image courtesy of toolstop.